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Important life lessons

Some time ago, I was surprised by a question from a young friend (actually a teenager): What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned in the loooong life you’ve lived? Before I considered the question, I informed my young friend that long had only four letters and none were to be stressed.

Only then did I wonder at the nature of the question from one so young. I’ve spent the largest part of my life dealing with the young, and I couldn’t remember ever being queried in such a serious manner by one so young. Frankly, I was at a loss for a moment, and so I avoided a serious answer with some inane comment about the question only to be faced by a somber looking young adult expecting a meaningful and thoughtful answer.

How could anyone boil down the lessons of a lifetime, some quite painful and not to be repeated, into a sentence or two that would have meaning to one barely started on the road of life? So I thought of so many people who had taught me lessons in my life.

My father taught me that there are two measures to take into account, and only two, when one makes a judgment about others — their actions and the character that brought those actions to pass. I truly believe that it never occurred to him that race, religion, gender, or any of those other things that seem to get in our way when we deal with others now was of any value in those judgments.

One of my many coaches persuaded me that desire, determination, and perseverance would often overcome adversity, and those qualities would only be honed by hard work. The easy way was the doorway to failure.

Many others flashed across my mind in those few seconds...my bride who is teaching me patience and has for 40-plus years, my son who demonstrates courage every day, friends whose loyalty has made life so much more enjoyable, my mother who was a firm believer in discipline (believe me).

So, after a few seconds, I faced my friend squarely. “I think that as long as you travel the road with love for God and family and good will for those with whom you have contact life itself will prioritize the lessons you need to learn.”

This was made even clearer to me recently when at the conclusion of our final meal of my brother’s visit at one of our cafes here and before entering his car, he put his arm around me pulling me close, leaning his lips near my ear for privacy, and whispered, “I paid the check. Your turn next time!” Then he hugged me for real.

 

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