Feeling old and being old

by Daniel Powell

(totteringtimes@gmail.com)

I became a “grown-up” when I was ten years old. When you take on the responsibilities of a being a grown-up – at a time when you are really just a child – one gets the benefit of a jump start on learning, and understanding, concepts like “duty” and “responsibility.”

Now that I truly am “old” - I wish I had taken more time to “smell the roses.” While it is possible, I suppose, that I am unique in that regard – I seriously doubt it. My guess is, I am among the vast majority of “old people” when it comes to those proverbial roses – no matter what age someone grows up.

I distinctly remember, though, when I first became aware that other people looked at me as being “old.” It was on a trip to Denver. I had stopped in to have lunch at a mom-and-pop burger joint - where I had eaten hundreds of times growing up, and where I had always longed for a chance to eat again.

I placed my order, and handed the cash to the teen-age girl who was working behind the counter. As she handed back the receipt, she made a special point of telling me: “I gave you the Senior Discount.”

I think “stunned” is the best way to describe my reaction. I was so shocked to realize that other people saw me as old, that I was barely able to stammer out a “thank you.” As I stood there – waiting for my order – I suddenly felt all those many years - which were evidently, etched upon my face.

When my order was ready, I headed into the dining room, found a table, and sat there - eating the same great burger I had both remembered and imagined – and ruminated over the fact that I, actually, was old – and not just family duties old. My “actual age,” apparently, had caught up to my “internally perceived age”.

As I sat there, my head was spinning a bit, and it took a while to get over the shock. But then, it came to me: I saved a dollar with that discount!

Suddenly, I was over it. Who cares if people look at me as a “old guy”. Apparently, although I have lost my youthly appearance, I still retain my appreciation for a bargain. I am still cheap!

And, I’m OK with that.