Dealing with holiday stress

While the holidays are filled with plenty of celebration, it’s can also be a time of stress.

WellSpring Counseling executive director, Al Braaten, said this time of year there is certainly more stress on people, but not just from bad things. He further explained if you look at a stress chart, some of the highest stress points are things like having a baby or getting married, things that you might think are related more with joy.

Around this time, Braaten said, there are several things that can bring on stress, such as the expectation of the season. “You’re supposed to be happy. What if you aren’t happy? What if you don’t feel happy?” The expectation to be happy is one that comes from not only people saying “Happy Holidays” or “Merry Christmas, but also from television, online and other media sources.

Typical media depictions of getting together with family might show a happy group of people sitting around a table and getting along great. But often, family gatherings are filled with the stress of arguments and fights, particularly when it comes to political views or religion. Many people, Braaten said, make pacts to not talk about such things at family gatherings.

There, of course, is the financial aspect of the season, and how to fulfill the wishes of those we think need to have presents. There are families who go on holiday vacations, Braaten said, which can max out a person’s credit card.

“Stress keeps compounding during these times,” Braaten said, “so it’s not so much depression as it is stress-related. It’s people feeling these stress hormones.” He further explained stress is part of the fight or flight sensations one might feel with fear. If it continues to build and a letdown during the holidays can lead to feelings of loneliness or sadness of not living up to the expectations.

“It’s not a really great time for some people,” Braaten said. As for getting out of such scenarios, he said part of it is accepting the realities of the holiday, that not everyone can commit to the presents, tree and decorations of the season. Looking at the adage of “giving is better than receiving,” Braaten said it can be beneficial to give of one’s time, through things like the Elf Tree and helping with the community dinner. Getting kids involved with such things is important as well.

Another thing to do is just getting out of the house, rather than “sitting there and ruminating on things you haven’t, didn’t or should be doing. I think the ‘shoulds’ get in the way,” Braaten said. “Go join people that are doing things.”

Relationships, camaraderie and coming together to do things is beneficial, Braaten said, but even something as simple as exercising can also help. Getting together to help with others is also a good way to feel productive. Looking at giving to others, he suggested a phone call or a visit can be treasured more than something from a store.

“For a lot of people, this is what I consider a dangerous time of the year because of all these expectations of what Christmas should be like, what people should be doing and what I should be doing. They just get overwhelmed,” Braaten said.

If people are having thoughts of harming themselves or others, Braaten stressed it is important to talk to someone or seek professional help if necessary. If you find yourself laying in bed for 15 hours a day, crying for no explanation, not finding joy in anything, your sleep disturbed and changes in appetite, this can be signs of a major depressive episode.

Talking to someone can be very beneficial, Braaten explained, as there are things that happen in the brain when we converse. “It’s not just what is said, but that exchange. Human beings are tribal animals, meaning they like to be in groups, and if you’re not then you start to fade, I think, in some ways.”